


Better Than You Found It

by Tad_Strange



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, POV Second Person, molly and lucien are the same person, the mighty nein are all here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26807224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tad_Strange/pseuds/Tad_Strange
Summary: It was a strange thing suddenly being shoved back into the world of the living, of having dirt fill your lungs as you drag yourself out of a shallow grave. It is also strange to have all those previous things be true and yet your first thought be "This seems familiar".
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Better Than You Found It

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally my first fanfic ever, but after last Thursdays episode I had to get some of my thoughts off my chest. This is super self indulgent, but enjoy.

It was a strange thing suddenly being shoved back into the world of the living, of having dirt fill your lungs as you drag yourself out of a shallow grave. It is also strange to have all those previous things be true and yet your first thought be _this seems familiar._ As you desperately try to gather what strength you have to make that final grab toward the surface, something different happens from the last time you were brought back from the dead—such a strange thing that this is now one more occurrence away from a pattern—a hand reaches for yours and drags you the rest of the way up.

You feel claws and fur and suddenly you're gasping your first breath in what you’ll later find out is months. As you cough the feeling of soil and the remnants of your own death out of your body you look up to see a black tabaxi smiling at you with wonder and the slight beginnings of tears in her eyes. You realize suddenly that she is familiar to you and not just from that musty bar underneath an even mustier bar. 

You remember everything; the order, the tomb takers, and the eyes of nine, and _Lucien_. Though everything also includes a circus, and trying to mark over strange eyes on your skin that you can’t understand, a large woman with pale skin and sad eyes, and a group of strangers that were slowly becoming a family. 

Suddenly you are Nonagon and Lucien and _Mollymauk Tealeaf_.

Cree hugs you tight to her chest and you hug back, both thankful and so happy to see one of your oldest friends again, but part of you wishes it were someone else.

* * *

You stare at your own reflection, having left Cree’s presence for just a moment to wash some of the grave dirt out of your hair. The inn the two of you are staying at it small but serviceable and in the small washbasin given, you trace the tattoo crawling up your side.

You try to think what you would have thought about the ostentatious swirls of color that now mark almost your entire body before your first death, and you can’t seem to recall. As you smile at the memory of Yasha gently holding your hand as the tattoo artist slowly stabbed beauty into your skin, you can’t bring yourself to care. 

In your room Cree has been anxiously waiting to hear what your next plans are and suddenly years of work and planning slam back into you. The eyes of nine can’t wait for very long, but it can wait a little long. There is something you need to do first.

* * *

It is surprisingly easy to find The Mighty Nein, apparently Cree decided that taking some of the blood from her time with The Gentleman with her would be helpful in the future and you can’t fret her for that. As you slowly make your way to a bar in Nicodranas, you pull your cloak tighter around you. If anyone thinks it's strange that anyone would be so tightly bundled in this tropical climate they seem to keep it to themselves. 

You silently enter the bar trying to not to draw any unnecessary attention to yourself. Though with the political parlay between the dynasty and the empire about to begin off the coast, most people don't seem to pay attention to one lone figure. You are good at hiding in plain sight. It's strange you think Mollymauk Tealeaf could never silently enter a bar without drawing every patron's eyes towards him—towards you? Molly was big and colorful and ostentatious and drew everyone's attention with his bold outfits and loud accent that changed as quickly as his backstory. You still think like him in certain moments, especially when you see _them_.

_The Mighty Nein._

Even with their fancy new weaponry and strange Xhorhasian clothes, you could recognize this motley crew of fuck ups and rejects in your sleep. 

They sit in the corner, watching Beau tell some story from her past—which must involve some sort of fist fight, if her wild gestures are to be believed. Caleb ducks down to avoid being smacked during one particularly overenthusiastic part of the story. As you move to make your grand entrance, something stops you.

There's a new figure in the group. He’s tall and brightly colored with a calm aura to him. He places a hand on Fjord’s shoulder and whispers something to him. Fjord responds in an accent that you do not recognize on the half orc. Suddenly you start clocking all the little changes in the group. 

This might be the first time you’ve seen Caleb laugh.

It’s a strange thing, to realize people have moved on from your death. You think most people would feel upset, but as you look over at Yasha and see how calm and _genuinely content_ she looks in this moment, all you feel is a growing sense of joy.

You leave the bar as quickly as you arrived. Cree gives you a questioning look, but asks nothing. Part of you still wants to rush back, but in this moment you know _The Mighty Nein don’t need you._ You coming back from the dead not as the Molly they remember, but as you are now, would only hurt them.

As you head northward, you think about The Mighty Nein, where they started and where they are now. You think, _They’re definitely better than when I found them._ The smile doesn't leave your face for some time.


End file.
